Why do I have this Blushing Problem? Why Me?

If you’ve ever asked yourself:

• “Why can’t I speak up in a meeting without going lobster-red, when everyone else can?” or
• “Why is that I blush when I bump into an acquaintance, but no-one else does?”

Then I hope this blog post and video offer some answers:  

Here’s a picture that summarizes what I believe creates the conditions for a chronic blushing problem. I’ll explain each piece below.

The Perfect Storm: 2 Critical Elements that combine to create the conditions for a chronic blushing problem:

Before we breakdown the “perfect storm” elements that combine to create the conditions for a chronic blushing problem, it’s important to understand that blushing is normal!

All humans blush. Back in 1872, the famous environmental scientist Charles Darwin said:

“Blushing is the most peculiar and most human of all expressions.”

This heat map of the human emotions shows this to be true: blushing or flushing happens in reaction to many different strong emotions:

Bodily Maps of Emotions (Research by Lauri Nummenmaa et al, 2013)

In chronic blushers however, this natural response becomes dys-regulated.

Let’s unravel the two “perfect storm” elements, that when combined together, create the conditions to make it more likely to suffer from a chronic blushing problem:

The factors behind chronic blushing:

There are two fundamental elements that contribute to chronic blushing:

1. Environmental Conditions
2. Trauma

Let’s look at each one in turn:

1. Environmental Conditions:

We can think of these as pieces of a jigsaw. Each person will have their own unique mix of jigsaw pieces. Individually, they won’t result in a chronic blushing problem – but combine several of them together, and you now have ‘fertile’ environmental conditions which, when combined with element number two, make chronic blushing or erythrophobia more likely:

• Genetic predisposition: some people, including myself, have a genetic tendency to blush. This can be influenced by factors like fair skin, blood vessel dilation, or simply how your body reacts to stimuli like spicy food or alcohol.
• Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP): According to Dr Elaine Aron, about 20% of the general population is highly sensitive. But among chronic blushers, this percentage is much higher. HSPs experience stimuli – like loud noises or bright lights – more intensely. The same is true of how they experience emotions. If you’re HSB and you experience trauma (even trauma with a little “t”) you’re likely to experience it much more profoundly than someone who’s not HSP.
• Feeling Different: growing up feeling different due to physical traits, family dynamics, or social circumstances can contribute to the conditions that result in chronic blushing. For example, I felt different because of my height and my father’s foreign accent.
• Emotional Inhibition: not being able to express emotions freely can also play a role. Experiences from childhood, like being told to be quiet or not being able to express your emotions because of dominant or strict parenting/teaching styles, create a build-up of emotional inhibition.

2. Trauma:

• Big Traumas (trauma with a capital “T”), or significant life events like my mother’s suicide when I was seven, which taken together with the right mix of environmental conditions above, can trigger chronic blushing. The trauma creates a heightened sensitivity to being the centre of attention, which manifests as blushing.
• Small Traumas (trauma with a small “t”), or repeated minor traumas, such as being embarrassed in school, or repeatedly singled out, can also accumulate, and contribute to chronic blushing. Every time we blush, the body experiences a small trauma.

 These elements create fertile ground for chronic blushing when combined. A traumatic event in an already sensitive individual leads to a heightened stress response, making blushing a post-traumatic stress reaction.

Healing and moving forward.

Healing chronic blushing involves addressing both the trauma and the environmental conditions. While we can’t erase past traumas or change our genetic make-up, we can desensitize and integrate our experiences.

The Path to Recovery

• Understand your Triggers: recognize specific situations that cause you to blush and understand their connection to past traumas.
• Heal your Trauma: work on healing past traumas through therapy, self-help or my blush2bloom program. Integrate these experiences so they no longer trigger a stress response.
• Re-wire your body-brain connection: use techniques to retrain your brain and body, reducing the automatic blush response.

Finding Beauty in Healing:

Think of your journey like the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold, making it more beautiful than before. Your healing process creates something beautiful out of past pain, allowing you to bloom to you full potential.

If you suffer from chronic blushing, know that there is hope. By understanding the underlying causes and actively doing the work to heal, you can overcome this challenge and embrace your unique beauty and complexity.